I'm Not Ready

Why do I feel so down on love?
Is love supposed to be this wonderful emotion that gives me joy inside?
I feel like love sucked the joy right out of me,
It's like my heart's been ran over by an 18 wheeler,

Keeping my feelings guarded for so long has been exhausting,
Looking at the guy that I've liked since high school started,
Every single day is torture on my soul,

I wish I had the courage to speak to him
instead of turning the other direction when he walks pass,
What about sitting next to 2 boys that I admire very much,
And hardly breathing a word to them,
Why is God making me go through this?
I know I can't blame God for this problem,
Since I'm the one who is the coward

God is love and vice verse, am I right?
So maybe I'm not ready for love yet,
It may not be my time just yet,

Just maybe, God wants me to wait for the right person to come along and sweep me off my feet,
God doesn't want me to be disappointed again,
I guess I have to be patient and wait a little bit longer,
Since God is love, I will trust that he will take care of me in the department of true, pure love.

This Feeling

This feeling inside, I cannot hide.
This feeling inside, I can't deny.
I can't explain it, I don't know why.
This feeling inside, I cannot hide.

It drives me crazy, it drives me insane,
The way it sounds when you say my name.
The way you touch me, the way we kiss,
It gives me this feeling that's hard to miss.

It's like a dream, but ten times better,
The way I feel when we're together.
You give me this feeling I can't deny.
This amazing feeling I cannot hide.
I can't explain it, I don't know why.
This feeling inside I cannot hide.

?questions?

I always have these tears to cry,
and I'm left with all these wondering questions of why?
Why can't we seem to get over the past,
and come together and be a whole at last?
Why won't you at least try to believe what I say,
instead of just pushing me away?
Why do I keep putting myself out there,
and you don't even seem to care?
I have these emotions I wish you would see,
so I wouldn't be left with the questions of,
"will he or won't he?"
Will he ever love me like he used to,
and give me the things I once knew?
Won't he see,
I feel I don't know him anymore,
and let himself go back to how he was before?
Will I still hurt when I heal,

Disappear

why won't this pain disappear.
why won't it just end.
I try so hard to belong just to fit in.
my mother and my father have no idea what's wrong.
I'm tired of being the friend just so you don't hurt.
You know how I feel and yet you won't respond
This is so unfair when will it ever end
Will it just build up until the end
I love you so and want you to feel the same
I'm sorry for coming into your life
I think I should just disappear
when you wake in the morning
beside your bed you will see a note
that contains it all
and you know 'ill always be beside you in my heart not wanting to flee.

Lost

I thought it was a dream, I thought it wasn't real
But pain really hurts and its really how I feel
Memories keep coming back, and so do all of the tears
I hear your voice, and as quick as the smile came, it quickly disappears
I don't know what is happening, because you always held my hand

You said you would never let go, that is what I don't understand
So many promises you made, and more of them broken
Lost and confused, feels like I'm choking
A lot of things I did not say
Now I can't find my way

I feel like a boomerang, you throw me but not only that
Every time you throw me, I always seem to come back
Back to you, back to pain
Nothing has changed your still the same

I can not start over because I don't know where to start
I guess that is what happens when someone breaks your heart
If we are suppose to follow our dreams, why can't I follow you
Because now I am so lost, I wish you were lost without me to
Lost

Its Not Ur Fault

You made me feel amazing
like I am the world's princess
yet this feeling sometimes worries me
because you weren't my dream guy
and may never be. . .

I love you so. .
that's forever true. .
but to forget him it's just so hard
I can't hide this anymore..
he's not my dream guy either. .
but the way he made me feel
no special words needed
he made me feel so special and attached
that makes me attached to him forever

knowing now he's in love with me
I don't regret that I want to be with him
but there's a feeling
that's really sad inside
of wanting to be with him
because he could be the guy in the dream. . .

really hurts when facts come
when I am already with you. .
I am happy to be with you
as well with him
he doesn't make me feel like the worlds most beautiful princess


this is complicated for me
but I will try harder to work on our relationship
and keep working
and forget what I use to have with him. . .

Raindrops

As I watched the raindrops fall,
I waited for his call
It was dark that night
that it was all darkness at my sight

Every time the night would came,
I always feel the same
the pain I kept inside
the tears I cried

the way I pretend
that I just care with my trends
the feelings that I can't say
the problems on my way

because you hurt me so,
I will say goodbye
it's for our sake
and for me not to be fake
Raindrops

Hard To Let Go...

Where do we go from here?
I can 't believe that you are not near..
Your the cause of my every tear,
loosing you was my every fear....

The remarkable feeling of your touch,
the blessed feeling of your love,
The thought of believing you,
the things we have been through,
all my cherished memories have vanished...

I was wrong to trust you,
I was wrong to believe when you said
that I was your dreams for your future...

Was she worth loosing me?
How blind could you be?
Your desire was to deceive me,
to degrade my love that I gave you...

Look deep inside your soul,
I was the one who remained by your side,
In return all you did was lied...

I was never prepared for you too cheat me out...
Now as I lay here alone
I realize that your gone forever
Forgetting you will be never..
Hard To Let Go..

You Cheated...

Why can't you love me the way you should?
I know you could...
Instead my heartache is what your choosing...
It's me that you are loosing...
I hate what you've done to me,
I was all that you ever wanted me to be,
I'm not blind, I can see..
I see your game,
I'm not insane, you are hurting me...
After everything I have done for you,
everything I gave you, you turn around and cheat?
All the times and memories we have spent together you even said we'd be forever..
The bond we share,
I never thought you would dare,
dare to hurt me this way,
all the lies you say...
You made me sick,
she is what you want to pick...
You made me cry while you told a lie,
you made me want to die...
How could this be your not here with me?
You are not that man I thought you were,
now I know, now I'm sure..."Never hurt you",
is what you said,
now I know your not a man of your word...
Made me feel crazy when I asked "why your phone was off",
yet I knew you were hurting me,
I knew I was right, you were out of my sight,
you really ruined my life...
How could you ask me to forgive you?
How many times can I? You have lost my trust over what I call lust...
You chose to hurt me it was a must...
I am beautiful so I have to be brave,
brave enough to move on,
I will be strong, without you,
my life won't be wrong..
I will forget you in time,
and no, no it's not fine...
I'm glad that your not mine...
You use to be my greatest treasure but now your never...
I hope your happy for what you did to me,
right now your blind but soon you will see....
You Cheated...

A Love To Call My Own

I knew from the beginning
That you were just a flirt,
But yet I fell in love with you
Knowing I'd be hurt.

I thought that I could tie you down
And make you love just one
But how could I do something
No one else had ever done.

I know you'll never love me
And I'm trying not to cry
For I must find the strength somehow
To kiss your lips goodbye

When you ask for me again
You'll find I won't be there
I want a love to call my own
Not one I have to share.

For I must hide my broken heart
Beneath a laughing face
And though you think I never cared
No one can take your place
A Love To Call My Own by ----

Joy Of A World

Look deep into the huge space---
The stars are gleaming,
And the planets are dancing with flair.
Listen to the humming Earth,
It sings a love song for all.
Feel the hot moon, above,
Your heart is happy and your soul, mesmerized;
Taste the flowing stream of the night's honey,
Sweet like a chocolate bar,
Sniff the droplets of dew,
Don' t they smell like strawberries?

Truly

There are times I feel so lost and ashamed, these feelings are my own fault so I am solely to blame.

Certain actions in my life I am not proud of, the looks from people who are close to me I know are not of love.

My actions of recent years are truly genuine, as I have promised over and over to be true and walk a straight-line.

Wanting only to be trusted and loved once again, another betrayal I promise-never again will I commit a sin.

Please believe in me forever and always for I am being true, I want to get back to a normal life where this action doesn't cause anymore blues.

Remember I will always be true to you!

Because of YOU

If I know what love is,
it is because of you.

When you came,
you were like red wine and honey,
and the taste of you
burnt my mouth with its sweetness.

There are many fish in the sea,
but you're the only one for me.

My favorite place to be
is inside of your hugs
where it's warm and loving.
I Love You!

Come live with me and be my love,
and we will some
new pleasures prove,
of golden sands,
and crystal beaches,
with silken lines and silver hooks...

We came together
underneath the stars above.
What started out as liking
soon developed into love.
I sense a certain something that,
in my heart,
felt so true that
I knew I waited all my life
to fall in love with you.

Because Life Isn't
Quite Worth Living
If I Can't Share It With Someone Like You

I'm looking through you

I'm looking through you
Where did you go
I thought I knew you
What did I know
You don't look different
But you have changed
I'm looking through you
You're not the same

Your lips are moving I cannot hear You voice is soothing But the words aren't clear You don't sound different I've learned the game I'm looking through you You're not the same Why, tell me why Did you not treat me right Love has a nasty habit Of disappearing overnight

A WINNERS CREED

If you think you are broken, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you'd like to win, but think you can't,
Its almost a cinch you won't If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find
Succuss begins with a person's faith;
Its all in the state of mind. Lifes battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster hand;
They go to the one who trusts in God
and always thinks "I can".

The most.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.

Future.....

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Accept..

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

Not Giving Up:

Between you and every goal that you wish to achieve, there is a series of obstacles, and the bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles. Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties and challenges that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else."

Life without love

“Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”
“Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving

Follow ur heart

Some times your heart thinks, whom do you really love? You love someone but you like someone else, Your mind speaks, but your heart denies.... Someone listens, but someone else comforts... Someone prays, but someone else consoles... Someone says but someone else's action speaks... Someone laughs, but someone else understands... Someone just tells, but someone makes you do... Someone is there, but someone you want is not... You search for someone is someone else... Is this the beginning of love, or is it the end... A times come in life when you thinks what love really is? What you think is love or it is something else... Listen to your mid but follow your heart.

Why do I love you? ...

Why try to explain
What is inexplicable?
How to talk about an
adorable, mysterious love?

I love you because I need you,
A love without boundaries,

And I hope that

You need me too ...
I love you because I love you,

That's it ... it is so simple!

If I love you simply
Because I love to do,
And if I love to love you,
If I want you very much,
What would I wish from heaven?
To last all eternity!

I love you because I love you,
A love without boundaries,
I love you because I love you,

That's it ... it is so simple!

I never meant !

I never meant to hurt you
the way I know I have.
Your love means more to me
than anything and I'll do whatever it takes
to prove that to you.

Since the day I met you and
your love touched my heart
I knew that my life would never be the same.

Please forgive me for the pain I've caused.
I'll make it up to you every chance I get.
You have my heart and my love forever.

True Meaning

It isnt about getting hurt just to make sure they care
Not about cheating on them or having an affair
Not even about constantly lying about who you really are
Not about sitting there wishing on wishing star
Not close on saying things you don't even believe in
Not about bragging about where you have ever been
Not even about changing your personality just to make them accept you
Not about accepting of being blamed of mistakes not made by you
Its about giving them the chance to break your heart,
But trusting them not to

Painful tear

Nothing was clear Except a painful tear Dripping slowly on the floor The relationship was poor Screaming the name Which put me into more pain Trying to understand To hold your hand To try to make it clear That love will never be near No magic no miricale will happen Tp keep on writing with the same pen Same feelings, same words And even, same world Nothing good, nothing bad Its just being sad Was a waste of time Because it was no crime Just knowing that we'll never be together Was a fact now & forever Nothing WAS clear

Never out

Distracted by everything said With all confidence, no regret I see it crystal clear Nothing betrays me, not even one tear A tear full of pain and problems, That escapes my body to come up with solutions But now moving with life With me in control of my own knife I hear the words spinning around me That happiness shivers through my skin and sets me free Free from all the pain i have felt And free from every anger that has melt As i look through the innocent dangerous eyes I find honesty, full of plain lies And with that famillar oxygen in the air I smile curiously and aware And with that smile shown I find My distracted mind thrown Silence is all i hear, Black is all i see Noticing that only he is the key For my happiness, laughter and innocence And only with distance Will all the charactaristics fade Dangerously it sinks through my eyes, being afraid Amazingly out of words Just falling in love Carefully would i review

Promise To Fullfill

Not long ago when i used to feel the same way
Harmful, painful and dreadful days
All the sadness all the pain
I remember, driving myself insane
but lets forget about that
and focus on the fact
that all the sadness all that crap
is inside you, trapped
i feel the cries
and all i do is try
but now i want to make it official
That life inst that awful
life is unfair, I'll have to agree
and sometimes pain full even for me
but look at yourself
to change things it has to come from thyself
you create the depression from inside
not wanting it to come outside
have u told anyone exactly how you feel?
if not, its the only way you can be healed
now look at me and look at you
and compare, the happiness and sadness and what to do...
You, full of pain full of stories
of people dying of people ignoring
about the dying, you cant do a thing
just pray to God, and start talking with them about every single thing
From every morning to every night
Dont be afraid to tell them 'good night'
as if they where alive and they never went away
just keep on talking with them everyday
Now the acting and pretending to smile with you friends
that is just sick it'll have to end
tell them how you feel in every small detail
they'll help you i can assure you they can never fail
and if u didnt feel better u can always come back to me
i'll never leave you, as you can see..
now your friend that ignores you, you have to careless
i know you cant, but if you do its just useless
and eventually, if he's a true friend he'll come back to you
and in that very moment you'll know what to do...
now your body is annoying you deeply from inside
i can see clearly and even when we tried
you kept messing up, and even cried
but this time none of that will ever happen
you'll stick into deal and after break its action
and sooner or later hopefully you'll love your body
you'll have self confidence and you'll grow up and so will beauty
and if not, love will join you
and you'll have the best experience ever, its so true
but for now give me this promise
turn from the depression from all the sadness
please im begging you from each and every side
its not good for you believe me not good at all
and you know where to find me,
if you need anything at all
i love you so much
never think i don't
im always here for you
i'll never leave your side

Never Look Back

I slammed the door
On hate and regret.
And walked away
Deep into this yawning night
To somewhere
i never had gone before
So that I can forget
Those filthy damn ways
That I paved in a plight
Its too much now.
Too much that I cant bear.

I tried to unlock the gate
That stood like a barrier
So rigid and strong
Separating the unknown
And told me the time's gone late
Pretended I couldn’t hear
Coz I wanted to stroll long
i wanted to be on my own.
And I walk alone…on and on.

Man or Woman

The man or woman you really love will never grow old to you. Through the wrinkles of time, through the bowed frame of years, You will always see the dear face and feel The warm heart union of your eternal love."

Next time you will.

Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will."

Red Rose

The rose is a flower of love. The world has acclaimed it for centuries. Pink roses are for love hopeful and expectant. White roses are for love dead or forsaken, but the red roses, ah the red roses are for love triumphant."

make you think

Good-byes make you think; they make you realize what you've had, what you've lost, and what you've taken for granted."

He compromise with ME.

Only those lovers that can compromise with one another without feeling stressed are truly in love!"

No ONE.

No one can promise they’ll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end."

IF...................... you

If you find yourself in love with a person who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart."

I cant !

I can't talk to you anymore, it's not that I am mad at you, it's just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can't have you and that makes me love you even more."

First Kiss

At the first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an exquisite way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, All the secrets that slept deep within me came awake, Everything was transformed and enchanted, everything made sense."

Stars

Lazy days
lonely nights
looking for a lonely star
who'd keep me company

looking at the widespread sky
being me a lonely soul
gazing at the moon so bright
making wishes `pon a star

a blow of breeze
to animate
the freezing scene

so the strings of white gold ribbons
seem to tease the lonely moon
because it is standing still
and they are free to move

"twinkle twinkle little star . . . "
I used to sing when I was young
now I've grown but still today
" . . . how I wonder what you are"

lying down upon the meadows
dream of flying up so high
reach the stars, sit on the moon
dancing ballet with the clouds

Have You Ever

Have you ever felt,
the cold and lifeless hand of an infant,
gazed into their unblinking eyes,
and observed the face of death,
when masked in bittersweet innocence?

Have you ever touched your dreams,
and felt the simplistic joy,
of feeling them become reality,
only to abandon them,
for reasons you cannot explain?

Have you ever watched your family,
who once shared the greatest of loves,
suffer an unforgettable and unforgivable tragedy,
that will slowly, painfully, and inevitably,
tear them all apart?

Do you know, firsthand,
the evil that resides deep within the heart of every man,
every woman, and every child?
Have you seen its face as it randomly seeks,
a soul to torment and destroy?

Do you know the darker side of life,
the one that awakens you,
in the still of the night,
crying to the unknowable God's,
‘Save me from myself. '?

Does your heart constantly question,
whether humanity is obtainable,
in a world corrupted with suffering,
and where war,
is the favoured solution for peace?

If you really want to know me,
and understand the forces that compel me to move on,
then take these questions,
and take this pain,
for this who I am.

Angry

If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other."

Somewhere someone.....

Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have."

For every......................

For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."

Pain

Love is the passion that we feel inside of our hearts that we can't hide. We pretend to hide it, but it burns us more and more until the pain grows and grows and it never ends."

Remember

It's always the same in every relationship, there is always one person crying and wishing to get back together, while the other doesn't even remember the things they've been through. I hate that I have to be the one who remembers every little detail while you can't seem to remember me at all."

Marriage

I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even
marry you because I loved you. I married you because you
gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect
people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that promise."

Soul

" What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories."

A Basket of Candles

A basket of candles that come in a pair
In all different colors, for you two to share
The white ones burn first
They are wrapped in white lace
To celebrate your first married night
In your new chosen place.
The green pair is taller, and also much thinner
Burn with the first company, you have over for dinner.
The dark blue candles are for after your first fight
Use them to burn while making up all night.
Pink candles set the mood and pave the way
For your first married Valentine’s Day.
Now, when your first year of marriage is through
The cream anniversary pair, will light for you two.
Red candles aflame, both your futures are bright
Celebrate promotions you’ve worked toward with all of your might.
By this time we hope, maybe, just maybe
You can light the purple ones, on the birth of your baby.
And just when you thought you’d put these away
Take the light blue ones out-for your fifth anniversary day.
Now just one more pair left - for the big 2 5
The anniversary pair that will keep your love alive.
Congratulations [insert Bride and Groom's names]
On the start of your forever
May the two of you always be happy together
And burn these candles
Just the way we said
But please don’t forget-blow them out before bed!

Always Waiting

Quivering hands
Unsettled mind
Pacing back and fourth
All the time

When do I get my relief of knowing
Its all over
When do I get my blissful haven
Ive so longed for?

I guess not
I guess not
I guess not yet

I'm sick of this bull shit and torment
I'm constantly put through

Would somebody save me or help me
Or give me something new?

I'm always heading to a dead end
I never reach my destination

Oh please
Somebody help me
Find my sanity...